Monday, October 25, 2010

correspondence with a working class radical


thanks very much man. i always thought the same of you as well.

i have emphatically quit radical politics. i gave it years of my life and all it gave me was bruises, a police record and a bad reputation. not fair but then again, that's life. really i'm mostly just embarrassed of myself, i knew a lot of the other people involved were spoiled brat suburbanites trying to work off their middle class guilt by clinging to self-righteous elitism, but i told myself i was different. apparently i was different enough to get scapegoated and ostracized, but not different enough to not have gotten mixed up with those assholes in the first place, and that definitely feels like my own delusional fault.

anyway thanks for the offer, im not sure what i "need" that you could provide? i need some friends but you're far away. if you ever wanted to punch my former housemates' faces in that would be great, but eh. i am going to school still for a technical profession rather than some pretentious humanities bullshit. working on music and on my relationships with my family and my girlfriend, who actually mean something to me and aren't just treating me as some kind of pawn in a political game.

how are you doing?

--

I haven't heard any of that bullshit dude....and for what its worth.... hearing it now doesn't change my perception of you. I noticed something shady about those cats from the jump but I was new on the scene and didn't want to make any assumptions....since spring semester I have witnessed their "elitist" ways and I had barely ever associated myself with any of them, it was just that obvious. I'm sorry to hear that they made up such horrible bullshit. You were always a good dude to me...hope all is well where ever you are.... and same stands true now as before..... if you need anything....let me know

Be safe
x

--

thanks very much man. i always thought the same of you as well.

i have emphatically quit radical politics. i gave it years of my life and all it gave me was bruises, a police record and a bad reputation. not fair but then again, that's life. really i'm mostly just embarrassed of myself, i knew a lot of the other people involved were spoiled brat suburbanites trying to work off their middle class guilt by clinging to self-righteous elitism, but i told myself i was different. apparently i was different enough to get scapegoated and ostracized, but not different enough to not have gotten mixed up with those assholes in the first place, and that definitely feels like my own delusional fault.

anyway thanks for the offer, im not sure what i "need" that you could provide? i need some friends but you're far away... if you ever wanted to punch in my former housemates' faces in that would be great, but eh. i am going to school still for a technical profession rather than some pretentious humanities bullshit. working on music and on my relationships with my family and my girlfriend, who actually mean something to me and aren't just treating me as some kind of pawn in a political game.

how are you doing?

--

I haven't heard any of that bullshit dude....and for what its worth.... hearing it now doesn't change my perception of you. I noticed something shady about those cats from the jump but I was new on the scene and didn't want to make any assumptions....since spring semester I have witnessed their "elitist" ways and I had barely ever associated myself with any of them, it was just that obvious. I'm sorry to hear that they made up such horrible bullshit. You were always a good dude to me...hope all is well where ever you are.... and same stands true now as before..... if you need anything....let me know

Be safe
x

--

I'm not sure what i could provide either....Cali is pretty far away from x for sure, i guess just knowing that you got a friend if you need one....that kinda shit doesn't concern itself with distance....radical politics and politics in general seems like a waste of time for anyone that has a genuine interest in the well being of a country of people that doesn't even care enough about themselves to be aware that there are problems.....and maybe that was our problem....caring about more then just ourselves.....it appears as if most of the people that do get involved with radical politics around here only do it because its the "in" thing to do....in my opinion that makes them no different from the whatever popular group that ridicules others to feel better about themselves....fuckin high school all over again....except for this is real life......i claim that I've quit politics as well, but i know that I'm lying to myself. like i said...i care too much....i just realized that maybe there is a better avenue in which to promote change....protesting, marching, tabling....fuck even voting...it's all bullshit....it's forcing people to see problems that they are trying their hardest to deny...that's the American way....denial. I'm not quite sure if the ineffable "avenue" that I'm going down is going to work, but it seems a lot better then any other method I've seen.....changing the world by changing yourself. yeah i know doesn't make much senses to me either, but neither does politics in this country....man I've seen so much fucked up shit and I've tried to give up all hope a million times before....but there is always something that perpetuates that feeling of hope....hope that things will change, hope that one day the fuckin idiots in this country will turn off their fucking televisions and think...fuck.... think about anything aside from jersey shore or american idol.....or whatever other brain melting bullshit that pollutes our lives.....i still have hope that people will pick up a book....or pick up a weapon...or pick up a friend and talk about what's going on in this country...something.....anything....i can't lose hope man....otherwise...what the fuck else do we have?

Fist In The Air In the land of Hypocrisy

be safe
x

--

no that makes total sense to me. And sorry to take so long writing back. You want my take on radical politics? Unfortunately I was an oh-so-typical foot soldier; a middle class drop out with delusions of moral grandeur; that is, if you can see that the world is fucked (and especially if you feel it personally on the level that you are benefiting from the fucked-upness of the world) than at least it doesn't cost you anything to feel like you are the "smartest guy in the room" and so you prop up your own sense of morality and righteousness by finding enemies to condemn as inhuman. You know, whether it's cops or capitalists or accused rapists, or whether it's Jews, or Muslims or whoever, god knows accusations of rape were the main justification for the epidemic of anti-Black lynchings in the U.S. south in the late 19th and early 20th century.

And now a bunch of Leninists want to claim that an anarchist rapist is the great enemy of the cause, right after anarchists derailed the so-called student movement on Mayday, into a generalized social revolutionary movement. Well go fucking figure. The really sad thing is how many people went along with them, how many people, who had trusted me to do all sorts of illegal shit with them, couldn't even trust me to hear me out for once. Just shows what a bunch of assholes they are, as far as I'm concerned, and i think it shows it's evident that they actually trusted my anti-authoritarian convictions (as far as I know who most of the people who attacked me are, where they live, where they work and definitely they all go to UCSC, etc) since that's actually the reason they were attacking me.

Anyway enough jibber jabber. Humanity is fucking stupid and that's about as far as my political reasoning takes me these days. The world is a mess and there is no utopia to be had through student occupations or through any other means whatsoever. Such is life.

So no i don't think you're fucked up or weird for saying what you said. I am pursuing x myself in hopes of having a normal, healthy, safe, sane and stable life near my family and near my girlfriend who i love. I don't remember exactly what you said you were going to school for but i hope you're doing well with it. I remember you said you wanted to have x someday and good luck with that! Say hi to x, x and whoever else if you see them and if they're down with me.